Posters [usually theists] on this group seem to like their analogies, metaphors, and stories.  They like them a lot in fact, but sometimes they just don't apply to the topic, sometimes they're hilarious, and sometimes they're just way to strange to even be parsed out.  My hopes are that this page will serve to record some of the great ones for posterity and amusement.  I welcome everyone who finds something they get a kick out of to go ahead and post it here.

Just to get things started, here are some you might
like:

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"Atheists tend to try to pidgeon hole religious thinking into a scientific view.  Where as appreciating religion is like appreciating fine art". - dfnj2006

"The atheists will argue their life is just as meaningful without God but that's missing the point.  The difference is between a napkin and doyly.  You can use both to wipe your face but the doyly has a pretty design on it". - dfnj2006
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"now let Me tel you something and pay A tention there where this hunter he want out to hunte us he was walking  he sau a big bear and he shot but he mist so the bear turne around and got him and he give him one, so the huter want beck home with soure ass and he thougth nexet time i will use a biger rifel.

so he want and bought the bigeest of them all and he want beck looking for this brear and he so him he shoot and he mist again so the bear turn around and ghot him and said you are not her for the hunting are you". - manny
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"Just as from the fact that people pass counterfeit money it does not follow there is no real money, so from the fact that people worship false gods it does not follow there is no God. As true money is a better explanation of counterfeit than Freudian illusion, so God is a better explanation of false gods than Freud's theory". - Alan Wostenberg
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"Because if morality does not come from a transcendent and authoritative Law-giver, then it is ultimately a matter of personal or cultural preference.  This would, in effect, make morality nothing more than arbitrary rules.  In which case, you would have no more reason to condemn Christians for persecution than you would to condemn the English for driving on the left side of the road." - Aletheia

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"He answered to me and not even once, then He showed me how much He loves me and His love is always surround me like an energy shield and I have a real relationship with Him." - Kenyan Hostage

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"The city of God's children looks like a bullseye and acts like a nest and mimmics life in the most basic of forms to permit all Humans to live quality lives, and get share glory in the times as well as save themselves in digital form to cross beyond flesh to represent the self into the far future as living history and an almost alive program recording that is serviced by communities dedicated to life after death services..."

"In the usa the postal services and schools and in canada the health care services  is not capitalist because it can't work in reality fully. It is same as any mother can't force her child to work or pay for breast milk..."

"Pandoras box is a city exactly the same ..brake open the city and you got this world you live in. People simply need to understand the greater concepts and powers of the template seals to see the story was at one time based in some lost truth of the city not used and the trouble spread in and out." - stonethatbleeds

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"ask a blind man whether he can see if the light is on in a
room or not.
Blindman answer: "I don't know, my physical eyes don't work"
Question to blind man: "then how do you know the world around you is
real?"

Now, please atheists, enlighten us with an answer that won't give us
dumbass christians ammo to explain how we know that God is there...." - Thehyze

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"A cat is penned up in a steel chamber, along with the following device (which must be secured against direct interference by the cat): in a Geiger counter there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small, that perhaps in the course of the hour one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges and through a relay releases a hammer which shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid. If one has left this entire system to itself for an hour, one would say that the cat still lives if meanwhile no atom has decayed. The psi-function of the entire system would express this by having in it the living and dead cat (pardon the expression) mixed or smeared out in equal parts." - Schrödinger

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"Is breaking a toaster murder? Toasters can't think or feel or debate a human being either. The only difference is that a toaster can't lie or make strawman arguments or spew bullshit like you do, which are hardly characteristics that make one worthy of life. If you are seriously suggesting that killing you is in any way immoral, you have to concede that it's even more immoral to break a toaster and that it should be a felony." - Dev, to Walt

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Since Walt is arguably the reigning queen of terrible analogies, I thought it would be fitting to devote a special section to him.

WALT'S CORNER

"Bob tells his kids to respect the rights of others. 

Bill tells his kids to mow the lawn, fetch him a beer, and to shut up or go away when they annoy him.  Does Bob's notion of parental authority lend creedence to Bill's notion of parental authority?

Some people believe that God the Father wants us to respect his authority by loving and respecting him and each other.  Does this lend creedence to believing in a God who wants his followers to kill all Americans?"

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Do you have any reason to not kill anyone who annoys you?  Other than perhaps an innate sense that it's wrong?"

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"The existence of Pimento Cheese does not invalidate the existence of God.  Therefore, the existence of Pimento cheese validates the existence of God."

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"The existence of smelly feet does not invalidate the existence of a smelly God.  The conjuncts "smelly feet" and "smelly God" have a common qualifier (smelly). Therefore, the existence of smelly feet validates the existence of a smelly God."

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"Suppose you are sitting in your backyard, and a strange orb floats down out of the sky.  A piece of paper comes out of the orb.  You pick it up.  The paper says that the orb is a crewless space vehicle from another solar system.  It has sensor and supercomputer technology unknown on Earth.  The piece of paper has the closing value of the Dow Jones Industrial Average for the next 200 business days.  The paper also says that the US Republican Party has secret plans to start a war that will kill millions of people, and in fact they will start this war if they are not stopped.  The paper tells you where these plans are stored.  It says that you were picked to recieve this
information because you are the wisest of all humans.  200 business days go by, and the prediction of the Dow is correct every day.  You sneak in and find the secret
war plans the probe told you of.

Do you, at this point, have the justification/ obligation to act violently against the Republican Party?"

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